Dear Parents…

The Panda Referee

David Benmocha

OPEN LETTER

Dear Parents...

Image placeholder

Dear hockey parents—we see you. We see the early mornings, the long drives, the equipment bags, and the unwavering support you give your young players. We also want to share some thoughts on how we can work together to make hockey better for everyone.

Understanding the Referee's Role

Referees are human. We make the best calls we can in real-time, fast-paced situations. We don't have the benefit of replay angles or slow motion. When a call doesn't go your way, know that it wasn't personal.

Most refs are young people too. Many youth hockey referees are teenagers and young adults learning their craft. Your patience and encouragement help develop the next generation of officials.

What Your Kids See

Kids watch everything. When you yell at a referee from the stands, your child notices. When you show respect for officials even after a tough call, your child learns sportsmanship.

Set the example. The way you handle frustration teaches your child how to handle adversity. Hockey is full of ups and downs—your reaction to both sets the tone for how your child processes the game.

Focus on effort, not outcomes. Ask your child "Did you have fun?" and "Did you try your best?" instead of "Did you win?" or "How many goals did you score?"

Image placeholder

Image placeholder

The Referee Shortage

We need more refs. Across the country, hockey is experiencing a referee shortage. One of the primary reasons young people quit officiating is abuse from parents and coaches in the stands.

Be part of the solution. Encourage your child to try refereeing—it builds confidence, leadership skills, and provides paid ice time. Support the officials at your child's games to help retain the ones we have.

Key Takeaway

We're all on the same team—parents, players, coaches, and referees. We all want safe, fair, and fun hockey. By working together with mutual respect, we can create an environment where kids thrive, officials develop, and the sport we love continues to grow. Thank you for everything you do for your young players.